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Love Island News: I Got a text

17th February 2020

**Trigger Warning** Love Island news of Caroline Flack, Mental Health, Loss, grief, self harm & suicide

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It's been a weekend of storms! I got caught out in the rain on Saturday, all I wanted to do was curl up under the duvet, warm up and close off from the world! But Dennis wasn't the only one to hit the news and make me feel like this...

I GOT A TEXT - a notification from BBC breaking, then suddenly it was all across social media and despite the fact I've never met Caroline Flack, emotions stirred in me. A sadness, an anger, a confusion, but mostly a sadness. 

LOVE - I didn't want to take to social media straight away. There were so many 'rumours', fingers pointing, and that's not what I wanted to do. What I was thinking about was how, you don't have know someone personally to be affected by grief and loss. It is ok to feel sad,  even when it is someone you don't really know. (it's also ok to not feel sad about it! - we are all unique) 

CANCELLED - My social media became full of pictures, tribute, storytelling, finger pointing, anger and campaigns. Quickly I knew this wouldn't make me feel good, it was just making me more upset and more angry. I decided to come offline for a couple of hours. Maybe check in with yourself - would it be helpful to unfollow a few people?

ISLANDS - Instead I text a friend, we went out and did a bit of life chatting! We caught up with life news, hope for the month ahead, dreams of holiday and sunshine; and our mental health. I needed connection - we are not meant to be Islands. 

U ok hun? - We talked about where we were both at, we asked intentional questions, we checked in with each other, hit a couple of 'reality' buttons, reminded each other we'd got each others backs and actually decided we also needed to check in on another friend. 

Where's your head at? - There are reasons why my friends and I check in with each other. We've learnt to ask questions and be honest, we've seen each other through a lot (just so you know this author is 37!) 

I understand sometimes when it comes to friends and family we might not feel we know who to talk to. Mental health, emotions, suicide, these things are not easy to get your own head around, or talk about. Even at 37 my friend and I are slightly hesitant before we ask the question, or tell each other where we are at. Understanding people's reasons and choices is difficult too, even when we know the people, especially when we don't - but they are so high profile. It can be upsetting, worrying, confusing, frustrating and we need to talk about it. 

If you feel any of these emotions or just need to start talking, we've popped some helpful links below:

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Can I Have a Chat

Our Youth Workers are people you can talk to if you are struggling with your emotions. You can ask to talk to us when you come along to youth club. 

If you are concerned about your mental health or that of a loved one, support is available. Mind has a confidential information and support line, the Mind Infoline, available on 0300 123 3393. You can also speak with the Samaritans, 24 hours a day and throughout the year, on 116 123. 

If you are struggling with your mental health or suicidal thoughts you can also speak to

  • Samaritans 116 123 (UK and ROI - this number is FREE, 24/7, and will not appear on your phone bill.) 
  • kooth.com
  • text YM Crisis Manager on 85258
  • Mind (Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm) 0300 123 3393 
  • The Mix (free support service for people under 25). Call 0808 808 4994 or email: help@themix.org.uk 
  • Rethink Mental Illness offers practical help 0300 5000 927 (open Monday to Friday 10am-4pm). 
  • https://www.selfharm.co.uk/

What can we do to help you? Let us know if you have ideas of how our youth service can help you

What Can I do now?

1. Check In - who ever it is, whether a number above, a friend, family member or youth leader. Connect and check in with them. Is there someone you could be a good friend to maybe you need to tell them they can check in with you.

2. Signpost - We are not all mental health professionals and the internet is not always the best place for advice. You are not to take this on alone. If someone has talked to you, and needs help - get in touch with one of the people above or help them to call them. 

You Are Not Alone

3. Unfollow - Sometimes online is not the most helpful place to be - do you need to curate a positivisty list on instagram of accounts you follow when you are feeling a little more vulnerable. Do you need to be on there at all? For me coming off for a few hours was helpful, doesn't mean I wasn't back on this morning! 

4. Do something - I was listening to Radio 1's life hacks last night and one of the ways Ben West talked about coping was to do something positive with the news. What could you do - text someone, tweet someone, choose to be an encourager online rather than join the gossip train?

5. Work on your Masterpiece Emma Kenny also spoke on the R1 show. (at 1.43 TW: Suicide, please use discretion when listening) about working out what really makes you happy and realising that your uniqueness makes you a masterpiece! Let us help you work on being you and loving who you are! You are a masterpiece!

Thank you 

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